THE SEARCH FOR POWER

 

When we are toddlers and we each begin to develop our identities, we each go to work searching for power. When we discover that certain powers give us influence over others, we begin to develop these powers to gain further control and influence. As we grow up we each forge a unique tool set of tactics—whether coercion, charm, or cunning—to manipulate others into serving their agenda. A physically imposing person may wield intimidation to dominate, while a charismatic individual might exploit their allure. Affection, wealth, piety, or even self-pity can become weapons in a detached self’s quest to get what it wants from others. When we deploy these powers to get others to serve our own agendas, we are using descending power. 

 

Descending power is a type of top-down power. It’s the power a separated identity develops to control and coerce people to conform to our will. Whether it is used subtly or outright, it often involves manipulation or coercion in a downward hierarchical structure to impose the will of those at the top. It has no problem exploiting or controlling others for self-serving ends. In contrast, ascending power is bottom-up power. Its power-under instead of power-over. Ascending power uplifts, encourages and liberates, regardless of any benefit to self. 

 

Those who perceive the world through the detached lens of descending power see everyone’s value according to their placement in the hierarchy—and they show respect and honor accordingly. Those who are seen to exist below them in the hierarchy are there to support them and be used by them to serve their purposes, and those who they perceive are above them are often praised and admired even despite the quality of their soul. The separated identity’s self-worth is imprisoned within this hierarchy, and it cannot escape the desire to climb the ladder, using others as its stepping stones along the way. 

 

THE MOTIVE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE

 

Descending power can be used by the leaders of any organization. It can be used to lead cliques, or gangs, or businesses, or governments, or even religious organizations. Anytime there is a desire to use people to serve self interests, descending power is at play. Descending power is the chief characteristic that makes any group unhealthy—whether it is a church, business, secular government, or even a family. Descending power is everywhere. It’s the power that rules the world—that is, the world that is passing away. 

 

“Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.” - John 18:36

 

The difference between descending and ascending power is in the motives, whether it is motivated from a detached, self-serving psyche or from love. Using physical force to control someone else can be good or bad, it depends on whether it is done to serve your own independent interests or theirs—say for instance in trying to get a child to not run into traffic, or in trying to influence a friend not to drive home drunk. The difference is in motive. Whether the power is being used to serve the detached ego or whether it is actually being used for the best interest of all. This is the core difference between ethical and unethical leadership or inspirational or oppressive leadership, whether in government, business, religious organization or within a family. Descending power wields it’s power to serve a detached ego and ascending power wields power to serve others. You can know which power you are using by the genuine motivation you have during your interactions with others.

 

Christ rules with a different type of power—ascending power. Ascending power never seeks to intimidate, manipulate or control you to get what it wants because it has no want and it has no agenda of its own. Want comes from a sense of lack and Christ has no lack. He rests in perfect peace and abundance so He needs nothing from you. He doesn’t demand our surrender, He inspires it. He disarms us through His own disarmament. He will never use His power to get us to do anything for Him at all, yet we will all eventually voluntarily surrender to Him, because when we see Him we will know the truth. Ascending power holds a mirror up to you, revealing Christ. It reveals the truth of who you are, where you belong, and what you are truly meant to be. By this method ascending power exposes the emptiness of all lesser identities and breaks the shell of a detached ego into a million pieces. The vision of Christ in us discloses our union, removing threats of insecurity by revealing we are inseparable from His infinite grace. This is why His ascending power will one day inspire every knee to bow and every tongue to confess He is Lord. 

 

“God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” - Colossians 1:27

 

With descending power, we crucified Him, but our power did not prevail. Instead He rose again, demonstrating the superiority of ascending power. Today, these two forces continue to vie for our allegiance: the descending power of a separated ego, wielding force, fear, and manipulation, and the ascending power of Christ, inspiring humility, honesty, vulnerability, and love.

 

ASCENDING POWER CANNOT BE THREATENED

 

When Jesus was crucified, He crucified humanity’s ego, and by doing so He brought a witness to what leadership should look like. His life became a global display of what leaders should do and how they should lead. Never again would leaders be able to justify injustice, usury and corruption—at least not without a historical witness against them. Jesus’ life is the witness. His life was a testament to the truth—that our best and most powerful leaders are not those who are being served the most, but those who are serving the most. 

 

“...whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all.” - Mark 10:43-44 (NIV)

 

What makes ascending power continue to prevail against descending power, is that unlike right handed power, it is never afraid of any of the things an insecure self is so terrified of and therefore it is not threatened by the tactics descending power uses to force its will. It is never afraid of losing its power, never afraid of losing control, never afraid of losing approval, never afraid of losing popularity, and never afraid of losing life. For this reason it can never be conquered by descending power. Descending power cannot even comprehend ascending power, because a detached identity only understands separation and fear. Ascending power is the ultimate threat to descending power because it knows separation is a lie so it has no fear. Ascending power was used by Christ, by Gandhi, by Martin Luther King Junior and so many others to overcome tyranny and change the world. Ascending power is love. Real love cannot be intimidated, manipulated, or coerced. It does not act out of jealousy, envy, or pride. Every knee will bow and every tongue will eventually agree to surrender all to Christ without Him even trying to make it happen. It will not happen through war, but through peace, and through the revelation of His love. Love is ascending power. The fruit of the Spirit is ascending power. 

 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” - Galatians 5:16-17

 

THE PAIN OF DESCENDING RELATIONS 

 

When people come together to decide laws and leaders they want to be governed by democratically, it can be healthy. This is not descending power though because it is by the people and for the people. It is only when leaders begin to use their power for self-service, despite the best interests of others, that they use descending power. It can be very unhealthy and even abusive when descending power is used in personal relationships between adults or among family members. All the major relational disorders psychologists have identified manifest themselves from or though descending (separated) power. Narcissistic, Borderline, Antisocial, Avoidant, and Dependent Personality Disorders are all either reactions to or manifestations of descending power. The use of descending power is the key symptom of each of these disorders, and is the core dysfunction affecting the loved ones of those who have these traits.  

 

When someone uses descending power in their personal adult relationships, it is a clear indication they are approaching those relationships from their sin-nature, instead of from Christ or wholeness. This is not necessarily their fault, it is simply the fruit of separation, or the fruit of insecurity that comes from a detached and insecure upbringing. Are our thoughts consumed by strategies of how to get people to do what we want, or are we content, and capable of obtaining all we truly want within ourselves? Are our words chosen to sway, control, or frame conversations in order to prove a point, influence an outcome, or force agreement, or are they chosen to gain understanding, empathy and connection? When our agendas become more important than the well being of those around us, we know we are operating out of separation.

 

DESCENDING POWER TRIES TO CONTROL

 

Descending power would rather have control over others than trust in them. For this reason, descending power will tend to manipulate others’ free will to get what it wants. When separated identities rule, they will occupy households with battles of dominance and submission. These battles will be hidden in plain sight, undefined but everywhere, using the weapons of subtle manipulation. We might guilt-trip family members to get them to do what we want, or use the silent treatment to pressure them into compliance. Some dominate decisions, insisting on their way without discussion, while others offer affection or favors that are laced with expectations of obedience in return. Gas-lighting can make loved ones doubt their feelings, bending them to our will, and threats or ultimatums can be used to create fear to enforce agreement. Regardless of how we do it, the separated self believes safety only lies in dominating others, so it finds a way to gain control. To descending power, any objections are seen as attacks on its system of control, as if an attack on its system of control is the same as an attack on itself. A detached identity’s need for control forces others to submit or be punished. 

 

ASCENDING POWER GIVES FREEDOM

 

  In contrast to detached systems of control, Love always offers its adult partners the freedom of choice. The opposite of controlling someone is giving them total freedom, and loving them regardless of how they choose to respond. It doesn’t give freedom from a place of indifference, but from a place of trust and unconditional Love. Love gives complete freedom, never seeking to control out of self interest. Even if you choose to reject Love, Love’s embrace will always remain open. Love is happy when your loved one is blessed, even if the blessing comes through another. Love isn’t jealous of you, it’s jealous for you. It isn’t jealous from a place of insecurity because it is not insecure. Love is only jealous when it involves the other’s best interest, or the interest of the relationship, but never for its own self interest. Unlike a separated ego, which is jealous purely out of its own self interest and fear of being abandoned or humiliated, genuine love simply wants what's best for you. 

 

If we use descending power with our children, they will conform to our will out of fear for a time, but as they grow older, if we fail to demonstrate genuine love for them, it could create a handful of psychological traumas and emotional challenges that they will need to overcome and heal as they get older if they want their own healthy relationships. Ascending leadership supports and inspires through love and humility. We can see the impact of descending and ascending parenting by the way children react to their own failures or mistakes. When a child responds by feeling sad for letting themselves and others down and they are able to be honest about it, not trying to hide their mistake, they likely come from a secure and attached upbringing. But if a child reacts by feeling fear of rejection or punishment, and they show this by hiding their mistakes or lying about them, they likely felt less secure and attached in their upbringing. This becomes more and more accurate the older a child gets. If they are still doing this as teenagers, they have likely learned they can’t really trust anyone but themselves. 

 

To become whole, a man must kill a false king to become a true king, and a woman must kill a false queen to become a true queen. One who is whole does not need to cling to external power because they are constantly overflowing with internal power. Ascending power is like a spring, constantly pouring out from within, manifesting itself through conscientious gifts of generous service.

 

While descending power finds security through controlling its environment, ascending power’s security is anchored in a realm beyond its environment. Descending power rules through fear, while ascending power rules through love. Descending power forces others to comply, while ascending power inspires others to follow. Descending power equates strength with domination, while ascending power finds strength in surrender. Descending power controls, while ascending power liberates. Descending power threatens, while ascending power encourages. Descending power forces external conformity, while ascending power transforms the heart. Descending power elevates itself, while ascending power builds up others. Descending power adds to itself, while ascending power multiples from itself. Descending power expects to be served, while ascending power expects to serve. 

 

Mark 10:42-45 (NIV) says, “Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’”

 

2 Corinthians 12:9–10 (NIV) says, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

 

Philippians 2:7–8 (NIV) says, “Rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

 

1 Peter 2:23 (NIV) says, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”

 

Matthew 5:38-47 (NIV) says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?