WHEN INTIMACY DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT USED TO
Maybe sex has become less frequent, desire feels one-sided, or the spark that once came naturally now feels difficult to find.
Maybe one of you feels rejected while the other feels pressured. Maybe you're still deeply in love, but something has changed physically, emotionally, or relationally—and neither of you really understands why.
Or maybe intimacy has been difficult for years.
Whatever brought you here, struggling with intimacy doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with your marriage. It might just mean there are things you have yet to discover about one another.
DESIRE ISN'T JUST ABOUT SEX
Intimacy and desire are influenced by the whole person—and by the relationship between two people.
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THERE ARE FOUR STATES
THAT AFFECT YOUR DESIRE
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Physiological-State
Hormones, medications, sleep, stress, health, energy, nervous-system state, and physical arousal can all influence your capacity to experience desire.
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Psychological-State
Your emotions, past experiences, beliefs, insecurities, stress, fantasies, and associations with sex can either awaken desire or quietly shut it down.
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Spiritual-State
Your beliefs about sex, your body, marriage, pleasure, shame, morality, and God can profoundly influence your ability to experience intimacy with freedom and connection.
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Relational-State
Connection, safety, trust, resentment, unresolved conflict, attraction, and the way you give and receive love all shape how naturally desire emerges between you.
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Understanding which of these areas is affecting your desire is often the first step toward changing it.
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WE KNOW
HOW PAINFUL
DISCONNECTED
INTEIMACY
CAN BE
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Our own marriage went through a painful season that changed both of us—and nearly broke us.
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As healing took root, we had to relearn each other from the ground up, including our intimacy. But something unexpected happened: our intimacy began to awaken.
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We became safer, freer, and more honest with each other—and began to see that our sexual responses were revealing where healing had taken place and where healing was still needed.
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Desire, shutdown, openness, avoidance—it was all telling us something.
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We discovered that sexual frustration is rarely just about sex. Our sexuality can reveal our fears, wounds, beliefs, longings, and deepest needs for connection. That discovery transformed our marriage and became the foundation for how I help couples understand intimacy and desire today.
Sexual frustration is never just about sex
— it’s the heart trying to speak.
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That discovery transformed our marriage and became the foundation for how we help couples understand intimacy and desire today.​
YOU'RE NOT
THE ONLY ONES
STRUGGLING
WITH THIS
Intimacy can be difficult to talk about, but struggles with desire, rejection, pressure, shame, or disconnection are incredibly common.
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You don't need to be in crisis—and there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
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Most couples can benefit from simply understanding each other better.
YOU CAN START AS SIMPLY AS YOU WANT.
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I am not a sex therapist—and I don’t pretend to be one. I don’t need to become deeply involved in the private details of your sex life—and Kimberly is happy about that.
The reason we have put so much effort into this topic is because we have witnessed first-hand how extremely common and how terribly painful it can be for married people when intimacy feels disconnected.
That’s why Kimberly and I created our Intimacy discovery course—to help couples understand what shapes their desire, discover where they may be missing one another, and find a practical path toward deeper, more fulfilling intimacy.
You don’t need months of counseling—or uncomfortable conversations with a therapist—to make meaningful progress.
The Intimacy Blueprint is designed to create powerful insight and change on its own, privately and at your own pace. If you would like personal guidance, you can add one or four private sessions.
The Intimacy Blueprint is designed to create powerful change on its own. And if you'd like personal guidance, you can add one or four private sessions.
These sessions aren’t about sharing every detail of your sex life. We simply review your assessment reports, help you understand the patterns affecting your intimacy, and guide you toward practical changes you can make together. You will never be asked to demonstrate anything or share more than you are comfortable sharing.
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THE COURSE
Complete the assessment and training privately, at your own pace.
-or-
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COURSE + 1 PRIVATE SESSION
Review your results, understand your unique patterns, and leave with personalized direction.
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COURSE + 4 PRIVATE SESSIONS
Work through the barriers affecting your intimacy and receive personal guidance as you put what you’re learning into practice.
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INTIMACY IS SOMETHING YOU CAN GET BETTER AT... - WAY BETTER.
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You don't have to settle for frustration, disconnection, or simply hoping things get better.
A small investment in understanding intimacy now can change the way you experience each other for the rest of your lives.