ARTICLE:
UNDERSTANDING YOUR COVENANT

Many couples might understand that marriage is a "forever" commitment, but they were never taught that marriage is a very specific type of relationship called a "COVENANT." Covenants go back to the beginning of recorded history, and they are unlike every other type of relationship because they require four transactions for them to be initiated and sustained. When these three transactions are active, those covenants are said to be unbreakable, offering the ultimate levels of stability and security to covenant participants. 

 

Insecurity comes from the sense of being fundamentally detached and disconnected from those around us. When we have a subconscious doubt of the commitment our loved ones have to us, we cannot help but entertain speculations and accusations against them internally. This makes us hypersensitive and hyper reactive so we react with prejudice to any word, attitude or action that could be perceived as a threat. This in turn makes our partner insecure, and they most likely return our energy and conflict ensues. Do you recognize this pattern? If so, you are not alone, and there is a cure for your souls, so you no longer need to be subject to this fallen system. The scriptures teach us the first step to healing our fundamental insecurity is reconnection to God. Once we are at peace with our Creator, and having faith  that not only this life but any life to come rests in His ultimate control, we can rest and be at peace with our circumstance.  

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Beyond this faith, we can begin to model our relationships after the way God relates to us, through covenant. A covenant is a type of relationship—the most secure relationship there is. Covenants are forever. There are three must- have ingredients for a covenant to exist: they are the vows, the sacrifices and the seals or signs. These are the things you exchange both at the altar of your wedding day, as well as throughout the lifetime of your union. By practicing these three things daily, you offer the ultimate security to your partner and join God in the practice of true, divine love. 

 

   1. Vows are defined as promises-unto-death. You speak specific vows during your wedding ceremony, but you affirm these vows by always keeping your word to your partner throughout your life. By doing this, you will maintain trustworthiness and dependability in the eyes of your partner.

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   2. The second covenant ingredient is the sacrifice. At your wedding, you stand at an altar where you sacrifice your independence to your partner for life. You affirm this sacrifice by finding ways to make your partner's desires the same as your own and by each adopting the mindset of perpetual and joyful servitude toward each other daily. 

 

   3. Third, you exchange the seals (or signs) of your covenant. In most western cultures, this involves the exchange of rings. Historically though, marriage requires two seals to consummate marriage covenant: a public seal, and a private seal. As mentioned, in our culture the public seal is rings, but in all cultures the private seal is sexual intercourse. Both of these signs are meant to be reminders to all that you belong to another. You are off the market and you are on display for only one. Honoring your partner in public and being intimate and affectionate in private fortifies your union from temptation and attack. 

 

When these three ingredients are maintained in a marriage by both partners, it creates a binding and unbreakable union and the most secure form of relationship known to man. When done in conjunction with a healthy internal connection and trust, your union will be virtually indestructible.